Monthly Archives: July 2020

Operation Oysterhood: 21 July

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OYSTERHOOD is reclusiveness or solitude, or an overwhelming desire to stay at home.

— @HaggardHawks

A morning of reading exciting poetry proofs. It made me think of two poetry collections which have stayed with me after reading. The first is Stranger by Sihle Ntuli, who is about to publish a second collection, Rumblin’. The other is Zikr by Saaleha Idrees Bamjee, who has just won the Ingrid Jonker Award. It is inspiring to see authors spread their wings and fly. Karavan Press will publish a poetry collection later this year, a first for the fledgling publishing house I am also eager to see soar high in the sky. May the winds under our wings be kind.

I didn’t take a single photograph today, which is unusual, but the day was just full of work, my attention needed on all possible fronts, so once again I am simply exhausted, but in the best possible ways. I don’t mind hard work when it involves projects and people I believe in.

It was time to shop for fresh milk, veggies and meat, and I had to fill up the car again. My favourite attendant, Elliot, was on duty at my local Shell garage. I asked him how he was doing. ‘It’s not easy,’ he said. We smiled at each other with our eyes. He has always been so kind to me, through loss, grief, road accident, new car acquisition and all our exchanges about work, family and the everyday. A hard-working man who always has a good word and smile to share – I admire that so much. It was so good to see him again.

I cooked a rack of lamb today. And there was chocolate pudding. I thought that after a tin of soup for lunch and no breakfast, it was only right to have a proper, delicious dinner. Two members of my family also enjoyed the lamb :)

Time for bed. I am sleeping, and it makes all the difference when there is so much work to be done.

Be kind. Stay at home. Wear a mask everywhere else.

“Physical distancing remains one of the key strategies to curb this pandemic.”

— NICD

Operation Oysterhood: 20 July

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OYSTERHOOD is reclusiveness or solitude, or an overwhelming desire to stay at home.

— @HaggardHawks

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To see a Karavan Press book in a bookshop, especially now, is magic. This was my first bookshop sighting of Sue Brown’s Earth to Mom: Personal Essays on Loss & Love. I went to pick up two books I had ordered and also briefly waved hello to Mervyn. He reaffirmed the Book Lounge’s continued commitment to delivering books to readers, but I told him that I just needed to walk into a bookshop again. And I did. Just to remind myself that if we all commit to sustaining such places as the Book Lounge and all other wonderful bookshops out there which used to be such integral parts of our lives, they will continue existing and waiting for us all to come back and browse without risks and perhaps even to enjoy a totally crowded book launch again. I refuse to give up hope.

These are the two new books I picked up and Mozart came to inspect them with me while I was having coffee on the stoep before picking up my work for the rest of the day. So much happened again today that I don’t even want to attempt to summarise the wonderful literary roller-coaster I had been on – emotionally exhilarating and draining at the same time. There are good things happening. Dreams are being born. I spoke to a dear friend on Skype for nearly two hours and we are going to work on a project together. Announcements soon, and if all goes well, a book, or two, or three (!) in April next year … Both of us know how to dream big, because … why not?

It might all be insane, but these are not sane times.

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I was so exhausted at the end of the day that I got into a bath with my dinner and a glass of pink wine and watched two episodes of John Oliver on my laptop. Then, Glinka and I watched a bit of TV, and now I am in bed, ready for sleep.

And the pandemic continues spreading all around us, the numbers rising, often in an unexplained manner. New phrases like ‘excess deaths’, ‘long tail of Covid-19’ and ‘breakthrough protein treatment’ are making the rounds. Hope. Despair. And the future constantly shifting, unpredictable – more than ever.

Be kind. Stay at home. Wear a mask everywhere else.

“Physical distancing remains one of the key strategies to curb this pandemic.”

— NICD

Operation Oysterhood: 19 July

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OYSTERHOOD is reclusiveness or solitude, or an overwhelming desire to stay at home.

— @HaggardHawks

723

Sunday walk. The essence of our present lives captured in two encounters.

Setting out, I saw a mousebird: fluffy chest, punk hairdo, long tail and all. I am completely and totally and unconditionally in love with mousebirds. Every sighting makes me happy. My love taught me how to identify them.

On the way back, I carried an injured laughing dove to temporary safety. The fragile creature felt warm and soft and utterly helpless in my hands. Probably in shock. No resistance. The eyes closing and opening slowly. The bird was found on the railway tracks by a teenage boy on a skateboard. The boy was visibly distressed about the bird, and embarrassed and apologetic about asking for help without wearing a mask. He tried to cover his mouth and nose by pulling up his T-shirt. Yet his heart was in the right place, and it would have been cruel to break it.

“Hope is a thing with feathers.”

And so is grief.

Every day, we attempt to fly carrying both in the palms of our tired hands.

Be kind. Stay at home. Wear a mask everywhere else.

“Physical distancing remains one of the key strategies to curb this pandemic.”

— NICD

Operation Oysterhood: 18 July

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OYSTERHOOD is reclusiveness or solitude, or an overwhelming desire to stay at home.

— @HaggardHawks

“Sex is everywhere … It’s in your morning coffee,” writes Tiffany Kagure Mugo in her Quirky Quick Guide to Having Great Sex (just out from Kwela). So now you know. About coffee, I mean.

Tiffany contributed a great story to our HAIR: Weaving and Unpicking Stories of Identity last year and, in this book, she once again showcases not only her storytelling skills, but her amazing insights and empathy. I am only a few chapters into the Quirky Quick Guide, but already not only feel enlightened, but also empowered. And Efemia Chela, the multi-talented, super-creative writer/editor, has edited the book. What a great team – I can imagine the fun they had working on this book. I met Efemia through Rachel Zadok and SSDA. It has been one of the greatest pleasures to witness Efemia soar from her first published story to many other amazing projects. The literary world won’t know what hit us when she publishes her first novel. Exciting literary debut to look forward to.

Another highlight of the day: Natalie of the Hoghouse Bakery delivered some more of these to my gate today. I have not been very disciplined about resisting the temptation since their arrival … The best chocolate chip cookies in the world – I promise!

Hoghouse bakery treats

The Cookie Monster Box.

There was reading, proofreading work, a beautiful walk in the sun, some admin and now a quiet evening at home. I have a new obsession: John Oliver. Did you ever watch his Edward Snowden interview? Classic! I love the combination of being entertained while being taught a lot of stuff at the same time. I am also watching our Trevor Noah religiously.

One of the things I have stopped keeping properly during the lockdown is an appointment diary. The few appointments that I still do have are easily remembered. But last night, I had a look at the past week in the diary and discovered that I had missed three friends’ birthdays. I felt terrible and had to write a few belated happy birthdays this morning.

And it was Nelson Mandela’s birthday today. I remember how his kindness and generosity made me glow with happiness and inspiration long after I’d had the privilege of meeting him. One of the most amazing encounters of my life.

And now, the week ahead …

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I now have two entries for Monday which came up in the course of today, but otherwise nothing. That’s a first in years. It used to happen only if I blocked off time for holidays. Another lockdown transformation.

Be kind. Stay at home. Wear a mask everywhere else.

“Physical distancing remains one of the key strategies to curb this pandemic.”

— NICD

Operation Oysterhood: 17 July

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OYSTERHOOD is reclusiveness or solitude, or an overwhelming desire to stay at home.

— @HaggardHawks

Caught in the act: Salieri trying to tweet while I wasn’t looking.

The day began with all kinds of body aches, but ended with a fire and deep professional satisfaction.

A painkiller and coffee dealt with the body aches. And then all kinds of good things began to happen (apart from one unpleasant discovery involving my postbox, see below).

In the morning, my friend and translator, Erika, stopped by to deliver copies of our book – Die Vyfde Mevrou Brink – that need to be signed by both of us and returned to our publisher. We exchanged the books in the garden and sat a few metres apart just smiling at each other with our eyes. It was simply wonderful to see her, her new lockdown hair, and to hear her news. A happy, happy start to the day.

Then there was lovely manuscript work to do and just before lunch a letter arrived in my inbox from an author I have worked with before and hope to work with again – and it was just full of possibilities and things to dream about.

After lunch, the dirty floors were saying, ‘So far and no further, Karina!’ I washed them all and did some laundry. And then I discovered that someone had attempted to remove the front piece of my postbox with a lot of force, bending a side, but not succeeding in getting the thing free. I had no idea that this could be of worth to anybody, but seeing the damage made me once again realise how desperate people are right now, and how vigilant one must be to remain at least semi-safe. Not wanting the potential thief to return with better tools, I just removed the whole thing and will have to find a way to secure it more permanently.

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I finished editing the manuscript and started a fire in the evening. It was time for another Hoghouse feast. Their BBQ bag is finger-licking good. My fingers were too sticky to take photographs this time, so here is one of their own from the Hoghouse Bakery website.

I just had to make a fire. And eat. Now, I am full, and happy, and the leftovers will keep me going for the weekend.

And just when I thought that things couldn’t get any better, another email arrived in my inbox about one of the existing Karavan Press titles, Theatre Road. I know I am biased, but there is no doubt that this collaboration between the two legendary women, both great, inspiring creative beings, Thembi Mtshali-Jones and Sindiwe Magona, is truly special. And to see once again how the book is being read and received has brought tears of joy to my eyes. The ultimate perfect end to the working week. I am flooded with gratitude.

Thembi and Sindiwe

Being an independent publisher right now is crazy. “But we will stay afloat,” a friend wrote to me today in reference to writing and publishing. Yes, we will. A lot can be achieved with common dreams, and it is so heartening to be able to be friends and work together with people who have vision and integrity. My heart is full today.

Be kind. Stay at home. Wear a mask everywhere else.

“Physical distancing remains one of the key strategies to curb this pandemic.”

— NICD

Operation Oysterhood: 16 July

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OYSTERHOOD is reclusiveness or solitude, or an overwhelming desire to stay at home.

— @HaggardHawks

712

Broken. A tree in my neighbourhood, after the storm.

This time it caught me in the middle of an email I was writing on my desktop computer. Puff, it all disappeared. Loadshedding. I did not look at the schedule properly. Thank goodness the laptop’s battery was full, so here I am typing this on my laptop at just after two in the afternoon. I should be working, but writing therapy first (will post later). My cheeks are sore again, first time in weeks, and it’s not even the end of the day yet.

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Cat therapy.

The Fugard Theatre is closing. Not permanently, but for a long time. Most of the staff have been retrenched. I know that in the larger scheme of things, this is not the end of the world. But, in the smaller, personal scheme of things it is heart-breaking. Something else is breaking, beyond my heart, and it is gigantic. Or maybe it has been broken for as long as memory, history and archaeology can reach, but the cracks are showing on a scale that is too enormous to comprehend.

There are hungry people begging on every street corner. The latest crime stats for our area are frightening. Forget the inconvenience of two-hour-long loadshedding; people have to survive without power in this freezing winter for days (if they have electricity in the first place). People are dying. And what are we doing? Bailing out an airline that has proven to be a bottomless pit of corruption and mismanagement. Did I hear ten billion rand?

I want to know why anyone in power can still sleep, eat. Why their cheeks aren’t so sore that to relieve the pain they do the right thing, even if it is politically inconvenient.

I look all around how people who do not have much, nowhere near ten billion rand, distribute, help, share, organise and they make me still believe in kindness. I have just lost all my faith in power.

There are days when one can’t help feeling so small that it is completely overwhelming. Thank god, good things are also happening.

Desiree-Anne Martin was announced the winner of the Art24/Kwela Corona Fiction Competition. I love her writing. This is the best news of the day.

And a stranger read my memoir and wrote a really kind comment about it on Twitter.

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I am still healthy, can feed myself and my family. But my heart and my cheeks are sore when I see so many dreams shattering all around us.

Be kind. Stay at home. Wear a mask everywhere else.

“Physical distancing remains one of the key strategies to curb this pandemic.”

— NICD

Operation Oysterhood: 15 July

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OYSTERHOOD is reclusiveness or solitude, or an overwhelming desire to stay at home.

— @HaggardHawks

Die Vyfde mevrou Brink is hier! Uit die Engels vertaal deur Erika Viljoen. My memoir is now finally complete as it exists in the language that was the language of André’s heart and soul. Protea Boekhuis are making literary dreams come true, again. It is our fourth book together and I hope for many, many more. Dankie, Erika, Danél en Protea Boekhuis!

The book arriving by courier this morning brought so much joy and energy that I just got on with my work with a spring in my step. Yet, I was so cold inside the house, and the stoep has sunlight only from mid-afternoon, that I just took out a small desk and my laptop and placed it next to the pool in the sun to work.

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Garden office.

I could supervise the creepy-crawly at the same time. It had a hard time cleaning up after the storm. Eventually, I was actually too hot! So, I moved into the shade and was promptly joined by Mozart who supervised my editing for the rest of the afternoon, even when we moved to the stoep again for the late afternoon sun.

I am still simultaneously working on three manuscripts, each with its own challenges and pleasures. Today, everything felt right and fell into place. It makes such a huge difference when one can work with kind, generous people.

But I read a few news articles about the pandemic today that made me think of that bathtub scene in Pretty Woman when he tells her that it took him years of therapy to be able to say the words, ‘I am angry with my father.’ (I know, weird, but I often think of this scene when I am angry.) I am not angry with my father (well, not most of the time, not anymore), but I am angry with the state of affairs around the world, and I use the words ‘state’ and ‘affairs’ very consciously. The sheer enormity of the greed, corruption, incompetence and evilness in politics and business is always beyond me, but mostly I just feel helpless. On some days, I feel rage. Today was one of these days. And I have nothing constructive to say about any of it – one can’t when one is just enraged; I would just like every corrupt and/or incompetent person in power to go and rot in hell. Power is rotten, as one of my friends once said. The lack of integrity and empathy of so many of those in power is killing people. Maybe not directly, but indirectly. Killing people! These are not trivial consequences.

Those psychopaths in power are so much more dangerous than a pandemic. No amount of physical distancing will save us as long as they remain in their positions.

I AM ANGRY WITH POWER. There, I said it. And I did not need years of therapy to say it. But we all need years of therapy to survive the blatant misuse of power all around us.

I want kindness, empathy and integrity to serve the world and the people who call it their home.

Sorry for this naive venting.

I will tell you the greatest news of today: a friend was declared “cancer free” by her doctor. She writes about her journey here: “Home Stretch!” 

Reading this made me happy.

Be kind. Stay at home. Wear a mask everywhere else.

“Physical distancing remains one of the key strategies to curb this pandemic.”

— NICD

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Operation Oysterhood: 14 July

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OYSTERHOOD is reclusiveness or solitude, or an overwhelming desire to stay at home.

— @HaggardHawks

704

The sky reflecting in a puddle of water on the Rondebosch Common.

Fourteen degrees in the house. I worked all morning in bed. I got up only because I wanted to skype with Mom and Krystian around lunchtime and knew that I would be without power from mid-afternoon.

Last night, I fell asleep watching a YouTube video on my laptop. YouTube continued entertaining me for nearly the entire night with random clips until about five a.m., when I woke up, put the computer off, and slept again. I was too scared to check the browser’s history to see what my poor subconscious mind had to absorb at the mercy of YouTube’s random choices during the night …

Today, my dear friends, Erika and Kobus, are celebrating their thirtieth wedding anniversary. How wonderful is that! Whenever I think of what marriage could be about – love, understanding, friendship, companionship, raising a family not only with unconditional love but also with true dedication, looking at the future always through a common lens, believing in each other no matter what, talking to each other even through adversity and disagreement – I know that it is possible, because here they are, three decades later, with so much that they can be proud of and delight in as partners, parents and individuals. That is quite something, and it is a rare something in this world.

(In comparison, my first marriage also began on 14 July, sixteen years ago, but did not even survive past its first anniversary …)

Exciting day at Karavan Press. The cover reveal of Lester Walbrugh’s upcoming short story collection, Let It Fall Where It Will.

Let It Fall Where It Will by Lester Walbrugh

Lester took the haunting photograph. The car in the image has an incredible story that I hope Lester will share when the book is out. Stephen Symons designed the cover. We have been trying out different images and covers for months now, the lockdown slowing everything down, but when this one came along, we just knew it was it.

To continue publishing as a tiny independent press right now feels a bit like living in denial. It is impossible to get a sense of how sustainable it will be. But whenever I recall the literary thrill I experience every time I read one of Lester’s stories and think of what they will mean to other readers, I don’t care what the market looks like and whether publishing is financially viable – there are stories that need to be in the world, no matter what the odds. Sharing books like this one with readers is the reason I founded Karavan Press.

The moment loadshedding started this afternoon, I left the house to walk around the Rondebosch Common. Then I worked a bit outside to clean up some of the post-storm mess in my garden. Computer work, mainly admin, continued until it was time for chicken soup and starting a fire for the evening.

Day one hundred and ten of lockdown. Close to three hundred thousand confirmed cases, well over four thousand deaths. Conservative estimate: let’s say that each person, on average, is mourned by about a hundred people (family, friends, acquaintances, work colleagues) – that is roughly four hundred thousand people in mourning right now, just because of Covid-19. Collective trauma. Please be kind to others.

“Physical distancing remains one of the key strategies to curb this pandemic.”

— NICD

Operation Oysterhood: 13 July

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OYSTERHOOD is reclusiveness or solitude, or an overwhelming desire to stay at home.

— @HaggardHawks

702

The tobacco ban never made sense to me in the context of the pandemic. In general, yes – smoking is really bad for you, long-term, we all know that (what I did not know were the shocking costs of medical care for smokers – forget the tax revenue from tobacco, it does not nearly cover the costs of medical care for smokers, which has to be mostly financed by tax payers in general). Yet, it takes a while for the benefits of non-smoking to kick in. No instant miracles, so a ban during lockdown seemed purely opportunistic. With the initial booze ban, the effects on the healthcare system, however, were immediate. And the infection numbers being what they are, I don’t know why anyone was surprised by the renewal of the booze ban last night. It did not catch me unawares. But I did listen to the speech with ever-increasing worry. Nothing is changing for me, but as I watch the pandemic unfold, my heart grows sorer every day. And in the international media the news from South African must have been quite bad because even my father phoned to inquire whether I was okay! We are not often in touch, so I dread to think what is being reported about SA in Austria. He did say, though, that the situation in Austria is also escalating again.

If only we had all listened to the experts from the start: stayed at home, minimised exposure, worn our masks, washed our hands and practised extreme caution when interacting with others for work purposes. But so many chose to ignore the safety precautions, not because they had no choice (having no choice I can understand), but because they couldn’t have cared less. People are getting seriously ill. People are dying. And yet, so many of us are experts at denial. And utter selfishness.

I don’t know how our house and its inhabitants survived the night, but we did. The wind was merciless and at times frightening like hardly ever before. In the morning, Glinka came to comfort me.

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We read, drank coffee, listened to the storm and procrastinated a bit before it was time to get up, go shopping for a few essentials that don’t keep very long (milk, fresh veggies, meat), cook and sit down to work for the rest of the day.

My back hurts.

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Dinner was a simple affair – some of it came from the goodies bag of homemade delights I received from one of the Witches during my last and only visit (during lockdown) in Noordhoek (I miss you!).

A long day. A warm bed is waiting.

“Physical distancing remains one of the key strategies to curb this pandemic.”

— NICD

Operation Oysterhood: 12 July

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OYSTERHOOD is reclusiveness or solitude, or an overwhelming desire to stay at home.

— @HaggardHawks

Another lazy morning. I didn’t even have the energy to get up and watch the rugby and felt strangely guilty about it. If anything, the lockdown has taught us that we really need to appreciate the little and big pleasures in life because there is no way of knowing how long they or we will last …

Last night, I introduced Mozart to his new nest and he immediately settled in it. Cat love at first feel (he has no sight). I was thrilled. Even more so when I discovered him still deeply asleep in his new nest this morning. The joys of a cat mother.

I dared to open the dream manuscript this morning. I shouldn’t be reading it because I don’t know whether there is anything I can do about it, and yet … Ooooh, it has so much potential. I can already feel what I would do with it if I were allowed to edit it … One can read, dream. And be pragmatic – later.

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I stayed in bed with books until lunchtime. Stellenbosch was on my linguistic route around the world in eighty days today. Another homecoming. I lived there for a few weeks when I first came to do research in South Africa.

And then it was time to devote some attention to pure pampering. Melissa A. Volker, the author and beautician par excellence, has a DIY facial at her Sunrise Beauty Studio. The package was delivered to my door quite a while ago, but the last two weeks or so have been so busy and tense that I just did not know how to fit in a facial and enjoy it fully. Well! I am so glad that I waited. Today was the day. I had time, inclination, and my skin was starving for TLC. The instructions were easy to follow. Everything smelled like heaven (and it is so reassuring to be able to smell things nowadays) and I just had the best forty-five minutes of me-time. When you go to Melissa’s studio, which is closed for the time being, the levels of pampering and attention you receive are phenomenal. My skin misses her magic touch. But since it is not safe for her to return to full-time work yet, this DIY facial is a great way to pamper oneself. I loved every second of it, and I love the way my skin feels its best now, even if nothing else does. Thank you, Melissa!

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After the facial, my energy levels were high and loadshedding was still a while away, so I just made myself a quick pasta  for lunch, got to work and managed quite a lot before it was time to switch off the desktop computer, hang out the laundry (the washing machine finished just in time), witness all the power disappearing, go for a walk in the late afternoon sun, do some gardening, prepare the bin for tomorrow’s collection and then sit on the stoep with a nice Hoghouse beer, thinking of great friends and working on my laptop (a little).

On my walk, I got myself today’s Rapport. Erika told me that a friend from McGregor spotted an announcement of our book in today’s edition. I haven’t been excited like this about my own work for quite a while now. It wasn’t as surreal as spotting one’s book in the wild for the first time, but wonderful nevertheless. It exists somewhere – my memoir, in Afrikaans. Translated by one of the most important women in my life. And a Sunday newspaper is writing about it. This is sheer literary delight.

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Another fire, the rest of the three-day-old red wine with dinner and a quiet Sunday evening chez moi awaits.

Yet, when I think of the Eastern Cape and Gauteng, my heart stops. I know we have been dealing with similar infections numbers in the Western Cape for a long time now, but we seemed to have been well-better?-prepared in comparison and were ready to deal with the onslaught. I fear for the other provinces. The President is supposed to speak tonight. I wonder what he is going to tell us now … It is impossible to keep the faith.

“Physical distancing remains one of the key strategies to curb this pandemic.”

— NICD