Death warmed up. That’s how I felt after a nearly sleepless night. Something went horribly wrong yesterday, but I was unable to react to it while it was unfolding and, at first, I had no idea what triggered the acute anxiety response afterwards. The body never lies, though, and it gave me hell in the night. A lesson in boundary setting; recognising and protecting my vulnerability. Thank goodness today was the day I saw my astute and kind counsellor and, together, we actually reached a moment of true enlightenment – for me. There was this one sentence she said that was just perfect, and suddenly the world made perfect sense again.
Afterwards, while battling a monster headache despite medication, I just soldiered on. Coffee with my love, phone call with Karavan Press’s lovely agent, and two meetings with future Karavan Press authors – one gave me coffee and a delicious snack and the other gave me two masks her husband had made (see one in the above picture). I felt nourished and protected, and it felt great. I am looking forward to working with these remarkable women whose stories are burning with a light that will shock and warm readers. True survivors. I look at them and think: all the horror that life threw at you, and here you are, beautiful, brave, caring, kind human beings – true inspirations. I hope to do justice to their astonishing stories.
Be kind. Wear a mask. Support local.
“Physical distancing remains one of the key strategies to curb this pandemic.”
On our last day at Oudrif, early in the morning, I went to the boma to ask for coffee. While the kind people of the place boiled the water, I went down to the river and just stared at the reflecting surface and the yawning light.
I often think of Oudrif when things get out of hand. Just the idea of its calm soothes me. Today, there were two moments when I really had to hold myself together. Nothing truly significant, and eventually all was well, but it is situations like these that remind me that despite everything, I am still running on empty. Coping well, but also only just barely.
Highlights of the day: visit to The Book Lounge to pick up some lovely books I had ordered, short but sweet Skype lunch with Mom and Krystian, tea with a Karavan Press author, dinner with my love. Salieri ate all her food. Today, I picked up enough of her special diet tins to last us through an apocalypse. Although she might be in trouble, if she has to share them with me. No apocalypses, please! (For Salieri’s sake.)
I got my official appointment for my second vaccine. Not where I wanted, and I am still considering a walk-in instead, but I am not sure. Two days to figure it out. I am just happy that there is a dose of a life-saving vaccine with my name on it somewhere in this world.
Tomorrow, we will cross eighty thousand official COVID-19 related deaths in South Africa. The real death toll is probably somewhere around two hundred thousand. To know that I will not join these numbers is nearly impossible to grasp after eighteen months of anxiety. Thank you to all the scientists and health care workers who made this possible. My life might not be easy at the moment, but I love it and I want to continue loving and living with all my being.
Be kind. Wear a mask. Support local.
“Physical distancing remains one of the key strategies to curb this pandemic.”
Monday. Woke up with monstrual brain fog and needed a lot of coffee to get going, but get going I did. By the late afternoon, I was sipping Prosecco (a gift from my lovely friend Debbie) on my stoep while finishing my work for the day. At six, it was time for a simple braai with my love; I burned the chops, but my love is very forgiving.
At the end of this week, I am getting my second jab! I am celebrating already and am taking the weekend off to be totally lazy in case I need to deal with any side-effects.
The latest episode of Last Week Tonight is available online, and it’s about Afghanistan …
Good night.
A rare truce
Be kind. Wear a mask. Support local.
“Physical distancing remains one of the key strategies to curb this pandemic.”
A visitor in my Mom’s garden. Last winter, she thought that she was feeding hedgehogs in the back of her house, until she discovered that she was actually making a family of rats very happy. Fittingly so, in the end, as we are family, but she did freak out a bit (for those who do not know: szczurek = little rat). It was good to see that the hedgehogs also survived.
This weekend, after a relatively busy Friday, I acted pretty much like the above hedgehog, curled up, spikes out, and not too eager to engage. I read a lot, mourned the end of Roger’s and Rafa’s 2021 season, watched mindless television, co-planned a new literary prize with wonderful people (yes, because I have so little on my plate and need to keep myself busy ;)) and went for a long walk along the Promenade with my love.
On Saturday, my love treated me to our LAST MEAL (!!!) at the famous The Test Kitchen, which is closing its divinely-delicious doors soon.
Every bite will be remembered with great fondness, especially the dill ice cream – you have not lived until you have tasted dill ice cream!
It feels like the following should not be simply part of a blog post on quotidian matters, but a book on its own (and I have been writing it for years now, so perhaps one day it will see the light of publication …), yet it is what it is: an integrated part of so many of our lives:
Today, Sunday, was filled with anger, and deep sadness. Thando Mgqolozana’s partner accused him publicly of horrific abuse. The literary community is mostly reacting in support of the brave Thabisa, and I hope that her loved ones will be able to keep her safe and help her find a way out of this hell and into healing. And even though I do not know her personally, I want to emphasise how much I admire what she did.
I have been thinking back to an incident quite a long time ago when I challenged Thando over something close to my heart in private – perhaps inadequately, but sincerely – and I have never forgotten his reaction, in words only, but words can be as powerful as fists. I did disclose to a few close friends at the time and made sure never to interact with him again, but that is where it ended for me. We so often create these whisper networks to protect one another, but whispers are not enough to stop monsters – they thrive on our silences – and only a few of their victims are brave enough to go public and accuse those who violate them.
I have tried, and mostly failed, to go up against abusive men’s influence in the literary community – in the world – and I still live with the consequences. That book is growing, i.e. festering, inside me.
I admire Thabisa’s courage. Deeply. I believe her.
To end on an uplifting, truly enriching literary story: I have been reading the anthology Our Ghosts Were Once People, edited by Bongani Kona. Many of my favourite local authors, including Bongani himself, contributed, and the book is beautiful. All the pieces I have read so far are enlightening, exquisitely written, and even if they have death and sometimes horror and trauma at their centre, there is something gentle and soothing in the storytelling. That is the gift of great writers.
Karin Schimke in Our Ghosts Were People Once, edited by Bongani Kona
Be kind. Wear a mask. Support local.
“Physical distancing remains one of the key strategies to curb this pandemic.”
I did not want to post the picture yesterday before Rachel had an opportunity first. This book is going to be a collector’s item! Get a copy of the first edition before it sells out.
A morning of quiet reading, but the rest of the day was unpredictably busy (apart from a long, heart-warming Skype conversation with an author). We are reprinting An Island, again. It is now flying off the shelves. I can only hope that readers will give all Karavan Press titles a chance, because they are all ‘Booker’-type-recognition-worthy in their own way. And I am proud of having published each single one of them.
On the personal front, a celebration: Salieri has been on her thyroid diet for a week! Such a relief.
Dinner with my love to end the day. Now, a hot shower and bed. Sleep has not been easy again, but not too bad either. A lot is happening. A deep breath.
Be kind. Wear a mask. Support local.
“Physical distancing remains one of the key strategies to curb this pandemic.”
Anyone who has read Lester Walbrugh’s writing knows what an excellent author he is, but did you know that he can also bake the most incredible bread? I met up with Lester in the afternoon to discuss his debut novel, which we will be publishing at Karavan Press early next year (triple hurray!), and he gave me one of his freshly baked breads as a gift. It was still warm when I held it in my hands and it smelled so good in the car on my way back home from Grabouw that it might not have survived the journey had I not eaten just beforehand. We met at Liberty Books and briefly said hello to Christy, the amazing owner of the bookshop, before settling down for our discussion next door at the Peregrine Farmstall – one of my favourite places in the area. Lester’s novel is also set in these surroundings, and it is chillingly brilliant … Details to follow :)
I was at the printers’ on a secret mission earlier today and accidently saw SSDA’s Disruption in the making. Can’t wait for this book to be ready. It will be the only book with my name on the cover (and it is another striking one designed by Megan Ross) this year. I co-edited the anthology with Rachel Zadok and Jason Snyman. The stories will blow you away. And wait until you see the endpapers!
Another session with my counsellor. The stuff that is coming up … but the way she guides me through the process is gentle and perfect for what I need, especially now.
Tomorrow should be the first quiet(er) day of the working week. I hope.
Be kind. Wear a mask. Support local.
“Physical distancing remains one of the key strategies to curb this pandemic.”
Tour the Cape: Paarden Eiland, Parow, Greenpoint, Muizenberg, Kalk Bay, Simon’s Town and Lakeside. The sun was shining and Glinka was playing on FMR and talk radio was great company in the car. The only calm, motionless hour of the day was coffee with my friend Debbie, who is a wonderful artist and her artworks – from a simple sketch to an elaborate oil painting – always make me happy. Today, she gave me the above sketch and made coffee for me in front of her fireplace.
An Island reprint ready for distribution.
In the evening, a quiet, simple dinner with my love – I cooked fish for us and had to smuggle the leftovers into the house without Salieri noticing. We have five full days of the special diet behind us and we are doing better and better with every day. I am so proud of her.
Haiti, Afghanistan, climate change disasters. I am aware. I am reading. But it is too much to comprehend.
Be kind. Wear a mask. Support local.
“Physical distancing remains one of the key strategies to curb this pandemic.”
A bottle of pink bubbly has been shared earlier tonight at the Vineyard to celebrate these two women – Dawn Garisch and Joanne Hichens – their incredible books and their nominations for the 2021 Sunday Times/CNA Awards. We are a great team – we made it all happen. Years of dreaming and hard work.
Otherwise Monday was very Mondayish, but I did not chase after the refuse truck when I forgot to put out the bin this morning. I just remained in my warm bed with Salieri and Glinka purring gently next to me, and I simply let the truck come and go while sipping on my second cup of coffee and listening to the radio. Some things can wait another week. Meditation is working out for me! ;) (I did sleep through the night again, with no TV background noise – that’s gigantic progress!)
Be kind. Wear a mask. Support local.
“Physical distancing remains one of the key strategies to curb this pandemic.”
A socially distanced Sunday lunch: I braaied for my family today – my love and friends. It was the first time that I had to handle so much food on a braai at once, and it went … surprisingly well. Thank goodness only one person was watching, though – it wasn’t all exactly by the book. We had the perfect weather for an afternoon in the garden, and The Cats enjoyed having us there. Although it was difficult to explain to Salieri why she had to eat her boring, healthy food when there was sausage on the braai. I made up for it in the late afternoon by spending the rest of the day in bed watching TV with Salieri sleeping on my lap.
I read another book in the morning. The hunger for reading is back. Finally. And I have slept for three nights straight again, although the last one was with Mama TV on throughout the night. Oh, well – whatever works.
A good Sunday.
Be kind. Wear a mask. Support local.
“Physical distancing remains one of the key strategies to curb this pandemic.”
I met with a Princess on Skype today: we celebrated her birthday with a glass of pink bubbly.
It is still a few days away, but HAPPY BIRTHDAY, dearest Sally! Love, health and many more great books!
The morning before the celebration was spent reading (yep, finished the book!) and trying to coax Salieri to eat. A more difficult day in this respect than yesterday, but we are somehow managing.
Late Skype lunch with Mom and Krystian, a lovely phone conversation with my friend Debbie, and rugby and dinner with my love.
I received a really nice message from a reader of Invisible Others today. It’s hard to believe that it was published already seven years ago. It makes my heart smile to think that people are still finding and enjoying it. Thank you!
Be kind. Wear a mask. Support local.
“Physical distancing remains one of the key strategies to curb this pandemic.”
Karina Magdalena 