OYSTERHOOD is reclusiveness or solitude, or an overwhelming desire to stay at home.

— @HaggardHawks

Monday. The to-do list was frightening in the morning, but I got through most of it in one piece. Even managed to put out the bin on time. Had no time, however, to take photographs today (again), but the above announcement says almost everything that needs to be said about the present moment.

We are still having a Karavan Press poetry launch on Wednesday, but have adjusted the format of the event for safety reasons. I have an idea that it will be our last live event for a while.

I look at the official infection numbers and at the way people ignore the simplest safety regulations and I just can’t help but despair.

I am also tired and monstrual and the only thing that keeps me going right now is that, if the stars align in the next three days, on the evening of the 10th, I will be as happy as a little rat with a huge piece of favourite cheese can be. Because there is a huge piece of my favourite cheese waiting for me, but the path to it is still uncertain …

Good night.

Be kind. Wear a mask. Support local.

“Physical distancing remains one of the key strategies to curb this pandemic.”

— NICD

OYSTERHOOD is reclusiveness or solitude, or an overwhelming desire to stay at home.

— @HaggardHawks

In Poland, Saint Nicholas does not bring presents on Christmas Day. It is the Little Star that fulfills that function and she does it on Christmas Eve. Saint Nicholas, however, does have a day for gift giving – the 6th of December. And although my brother and I are both ancient, our Mom still insists that we celebrate the day as if we were little kids. This year, though, we decided to do without the exchange of gifts, but we did meet on Skype and exchanged the gift of loving (virtual) company.

Beforehand, a real Sunday morning: with Cats, coffee and Harry Bosch in bed. I have missed this! I still have work to do and spent a few hours at my computer today, but the pace is slower and kinder and I am beginning to feel like I am gradually getting my life back after the insanity of the last few weeks.

I spent the afternoon and evening with my love and he made roast chicken for dinner for us – all humans and cats of both households are going to bed content.

I briefly watched a few interviews with health care workers in the States today – absolutely heart-breaking. The one nurse begging, ‘Please wear a mask, please.’

It’s so simple, and yet …

Be kind. Wear a mask. Support local.

“Physical distancing remains one of the key strategies to curb this pandemic.”

— NICD

OYSTERHOOD is reclusiveness or solitude, or an overwhelming desire to stay at home.

— @HaggardHawks

Bosch Binge continues. I finally have some headspace to indulge in leisure reading again. Today, early in the morning in bed and then late afternoon on my love’s couch.

In between, I dealt with tax returns and other admin and some housework. My love cooked a delicious dinner for us. In view of the rising infection numbers, we have cancelled all indoor socialising with friends for the time being. The recent developments are very worrying.

Thank goodness I can read properly again – it is the nicest form of escapism. Although it says a lot about our present reality that the inside of a crime novel feels like the safest place in the world …

Be kind. Wear a mask. Support local.

“Physical distancing remains one of the key strategies to curb this pandemic.”

— NICD

OYSTERHOOD is reclusiveness or solitude, or an overwhelming desire to stay at home.

— @HaggardHawks

Eel every it is.

An accidental image that says so much about the surreal quality of our present.

Stood in a loooooong queue at DStv today. It’s also a looooong story. Luckily, there was a happy ending, and Mama TV will still be able to put me to sleep for a looooong time to come.

Thank goodness I took Harry with me and he kept me company during the wait in the customer tent erected as a safety measure in front of the DStv offices. Terrible plot twist though: Eleanor was shot dead in a dodgy Hong Kong hotel!!! And all these books, I have been hoping that she and Harry would get back together again … What a mess!

What else? My shower renovations are complete! I finished everything this morning and will probably waste a lot of water tomorrow when I have my first proper shower in the house since September … No comment!

Everything feels like an eternity nowadays.

I also finished a book review today that I have been writing for the duration of the lockdown (I wish this was an exaggeration, but it isn’t). A million other things got done. By late afternoon, my head was spinning again and I just decided to call it quits and start a fire and open a red (a gift from a Karavan Press author :)). My love came to dinner and we enjoyed braaied chops and wors on the stoep.

And then, I had a wonderful Skype date with my Mom and Krystian – he celebrated his name day today :)

Now, I am ready for bed.

Eel every, I tell you. Good night.

Be kind. Wear a mask. Support local.

“Physical distancing remains one of the key strategies to curb this pandemic.”

— NICD

OYSTERHOOD is reclusiveness or solitude, or an overwhelming desire to stay at home.

— @HaggardHawks

A live poetry reading! An evening of magic. Balm for the soul.

We launched FOR EVERYTHING THAT IS POINTLESS AND PERFECT by Stephen Symons at the Alma Café tonight. Thank you to Stephen, the Alma Café, and everyone who attended and made this into an exception evening of communal listening as Stephen’s words washed over us like a gentle sea wave of meaning and perfection.

Nothing is easy nowadays, but when it all comes together as it did tonight, all the hope and effort are worth it, and one can go to bed believing in a kinder tomorrow.

Thank you.

Be kind. Wear a mask. Support local.

“Physical distancing remains one of the key strategies to curb this pandemic.”

— NICD

OYSTERHOOD is reclusiveness or solitude, or an overwhelming desire to stay at home.

— @HaggardHawks

The Book Lounge celebrated their THIRTEENTH birthday today! I met an inspiring woman who loves books as much as I do at the shop and we got our birthday book loot (mine pictured above) and went for coffee to catch up afterwards. The last time I saw her was in February and the world was a completely different place then …

In the evening, I had a simple dinner with my love.

The rest of the day was too much to handle and once again I realised that I am in a really tense and vulnerable space, and I am barely coping. There are a few new year’s resolutions coming – the most important one will be: be kind to yourself and say NO!

Be kind. Wear a mask. Support local.

“Physical distancing remains one of the key strategies to curb this pandemic.”

— NICD

OYSTERHOOD is reclusiveness or solitude, or an overwhelming desire to stay at home.

— @HaggardHawks

I managed to get up early and got the most urgent morning work done before returning to bed with coffee, Harry and Salieri for a bit of relaxed reading. It wasn’t for long (though blissful), and the rest of the day was relentless until about an hour ago. I then FINALLY got to the next step in my shower renovations, which had been on hold since September (!!!) because of the other more pressing craziness going on all around. Fresh grout is in and looking great. It now needs to dry and all that will remain to be done will be the silicon finish. I can’t believe that it took nearly two months to get this done …

Anyway, next step in my home renovations: The Wall. That might take twenty years, but I am not giving up.

And I need to start on tax returns: for the Literary Trust, Karavan Press and moi. Pray for me.

I can finally talk about one of the literary projects I have been involved in as an editor this year: Shine a Light by Corrine Wilson. It is an astounding, raw, beautiful, touching and inspiring story and working on it has been one of the highlights of my year. The book is getting the most moving readers’ reviews and by spreading this remarkable story it continues with the amazing work Corrine and Ingrid De Storie have been involved in in the last few years. They rescue vulnerable animals and change lives under the most challenging circumstances. Don’t miss out on this one when you think of Christmas gifts! It is truly special.

Be kind. Wear a mask. Support local.

“Physical distancing remains one of the key strategies to curb this pandemic.”

— NICD

OYSTERHOOD is reclusiveness or solitude, or an overwhelming desire to stay at home.

— @HaggardHawks

When the world is about to go under, press the PAUSE button and head out to … Franschhoek!

My love took me on a culinary adventure in the Franschhoek Valley this weekend. What better way to forget about your worries than with your love, in beautiful surroundings, delighting in feast after feast of some of the best food and wine experiences the Cape has to offer?

It’s hard to come up with alternatives. We are talking about the newly established Ōku Eatery and Epice Restaurant and the relocated La Petite Colombe. We are talking about OYSTERS!

• 

• 

Throw in TLC, a friend, sleep, a fluffy bathrobe, a crystal-clear pool, sunshine, the next Harry Bosch novel, a poet you admire and incredible views, and you can tell tension to go to hell, and start recharging your batteries.

On the morning of our departure, we found out that our dear Helen (on her way to a function in support of a campaign against domestic violence) was also heading towards Franschhoek and we travelled together. It was simply wonderful to catch up and to arrive in Franschhoek while reminiscing about the good old days of the Franschhoek Literary Festival. One day, one day again …

The weekend had three more literary touches of note: the author of one of my two absolute favourite books of 2019 spotted us in Franschhoek and came to say hello – Musa Khanyile. If you haven’t read his debut poetry collection – All the Places (uHlanga Press) – then you have missed out big time!

The second literary touch is a bit more mundane, but also uplifting: after weeks of purely professional reading (no matter how wonderful, it is still WORK), I have finally managed to start a book this weekend for pure enjoyment, Echo Park. My Harry Bosch binge is continuing. I am loving the series. I also finally had time to simply hang out next to the pool where we were staying. And I swam and sunbathed, and after only a few hours of all of this, I felt more human and at peace again.

Third literary touch of the weekend: Diane Awerbuck’s review of Death and the After Parties by Joanne Hichens. The review itself is a piece of art! Brilliant writing.

And most importantly, I had enough strength and head- and heartspace available to be there for someone who needed my support this weekend while going through a major personal crisis. I hate being too paralysed by my own anxieties to such an extent that I cannot be there for the people I love in the way they deserve.

• 

• 

• 

Another intense working week is about to start. I am certainly more ready to face it than I was on Friday before Franschhoek. We soldier on, as I say. No one knows what tomorrow will bring. But whatever it is, I feel more competent about encountering it.

Be kind. Wear a mask. Support local.

“Physical distancing remains one of the key strategies to curb this pandemic.”

— NICD

OYSTERHOOD is reclusiveness or solitude, or an overwhelming desire to stay at home.

— @HaggardHawks

A mixed bag of a day. Horrible news interwoven with miracles and things getting done despite unbelievable obstacles in their path. It is hard to believe that a day has only twenty-four hours. Every single one of them feels like eternity now. And it takes forever every day in the morning to get started. At night, I am scared to face going to bed. Thank goodness I am usually awake around five a.m. and can force myself to open my eyes by seven latest. In the evening, I put on the TV and hope for it to put my mind enough at ease to fall asleep eventually. I am afraid to be left alone in my own headspace for too long. It is frightening there at the moment. Any kind of external input is a welcome distraction. I function. I get things done. But by now I am only pretending to cope.

The thing is that I am still physically healthy, I do have a roof over my head, I can feed The Cats, even buy an occasional book, but I am trying to hold on to so many dreams in the process that are on the verge of shattering that the burden feels impossibly heavy.

I think the worst is that the worries are so overwhelming and often so paralysing that even when the most incredible things happen, they only bring temporary relief – they can no longer be enjoyed and celebrated with the kind of abandon they deserve.

A few things I read, was reminded of, today:

This interview with Nick, where he says:

What have you found most supportive and/or heart lifting in this time?

There hasn’t been much, to be honest. It’s been awful. Almost every day has been a struggle, and the struggle is made worse by the fact that I know everyone else is struggling too. There hasn’t been a great amount of levelheaded, public honesty about how difficult this has been: we’re always looking for the positive angle, or the deft and lucid summation of the medical-political omnishambles we’ve been living through. I think it’s enough to say that it’s been horrible, it is continuing to be horrible, and that I cannot wait for it to be over. People have been and haven’t been supportive; what lifts the heart one day doesn’t work the next. 

I can’t be too curmudgeonly, though. uHlanga’s writers, suppliers and distributors have responded so wonderfully and bravely to the challenges we’ve been facing and will be facing for some time to come. But I think we’re all just doing the best we can. There’s really nothing else to it.

And then, Sally’s moving post about 2020: “Good riddance to 2020 (almost)”

And this interview Debbie reminded me of (I watched it live on TV a while back and watched it online again today): “Exposing the men who hate women” (Shattering!)

It was Black Friday today, but apart from a takeaway dinner with my love at his place, I stayed home and bought nothing apart from a croissant for tomorrow’s breakfast and two chocolate chip cookies for dessert tonight. I want to spend my money on books on the 1st of December at the Book Lounge when they celebrate their thirteenth birthday. I often think of which institutions I am desperate to see survive this insane pandemic and its aftermath, and libraries and bookshops are always top of the list. A life without access to books does not seem worth living for me. How will they survive? With our support.

I want Karavan Press to survive, but I am publishing against all demands of logic and hoping against hope that we will somehow make it.

Dreams can be like children. You never forgive yourself for neglecting and forsaking them.

I have done what I could. The generosity and assistance of the people I work with have been overwhelming. And soon, there will be time to rest. I just have to somehow make it until then.

Be kind. Wear a mask. Support local.

“Physical distancing remains one of the key strategies to curb this pandemic.”

— NICD

OYSTERHOOD is reclusiveness or solitude, or an overwhelming desire to stay at home.

— @HaggardHawks

Last night, another unforgettable feast at La Colombe. It was at La Colombe (at its previous location) that I first learned how to eat oysters on my twenty-ninth birthday many, many years ago. The restaurant has grown from strength to strength since then and it has survived the hard lockdown (!); I have also survived (lockdown, touch wood, and otherwise), and my love for oysters has also grown over the years. I am even writing Oysterhood diaries :) Yesterday’s extravaganza did not include oysters, though. Yet, every single bite was heaven in one’s mouth. Food magic! And now, La Colombe is running spring specials – still not exactly the cheapest meal in town, but you get an experience worth at million bucks for only a few hundred.

At the dinner, my love announced something spectacularly amazing. We are in for an adventure of a lifetime in December. Stay tuned for more details ..

And today? It was back to reality. A ten-hour working day and a simple salad for dinner with my love. I did go for a walk! The first one in forever. I seem to be chained to my computer most of the time nowadays (not good!). But, the end of this madness is in sight. And, throughout the day today, I have also been counting my blessings when it comes to the people I work with on a permanent basis. Today, everyone delivered on all fronts in ways that go way beyond what one could reasonably expect. We are living through an impossible time, and nearly every day when you think that it can’t get any harder or worse, something terrible and unexpected happens. And yet, and yet! Together, with the right people by our sides, we can make the impossible possible. And today was another example of it for me.

Our Covid numbers are escalating in the Western Province and beyond. The signs are ominous. All these months of horror behind us, and there are still people who think that the simple precautionary safety measures are beyond them. In most cases, all it needs is a little bit of care …

Be kind. Wear a mask. Support local.

“Physical distancing remains one of the key strategies to curb this pandemic.”

— NICD