It was supposed to be twenty-one days and now I am pretty certain that the Oysterhood Diaries have a good chance of turning one soon. One year …!
Today was another heavy day, but I am gradually ploughing through my work and saying NO to more responsibilities and trying to be as protective of my sanity as I can be.
Food is a simple pleasure. And although I did not have breakfast this morning, I treated myself to a Hoghouse takeaway lunch (Hoghouse beer and a lovely surprise gift included – yay!) and my love and I tried something completely new tonight: UCOOK. Icooked and it was really easy and delicious.
I dreamt of mousebirds last night. That made me happy.
Be kind. Wear a mask. Support local.
“Physical distancing remains one of the key strategies to curb this pandemic.”
Captain Sir Tom Moore passed away today and the world feels emptier. He was a complete stranger and yet I cried when I heard the news. I know he was over a hundred years old and that time was not on his side, but there is something ungraspable about the fact that, of all people, he died because of Covid-19. As Elleke Boehmer wrote: ‘It is inconceivable and very sad.’
This news came at the end of a long, long day and just before a Zoom board meeting at seven that still had to be attended. Luckily, the meeting was inspiring. Working with kind people makes such a difference.
But then, just when I thought that the day would end on the positive note of the meeting, I received an abusive email about something that was not my fault, but I still had to deal with, forcing me to apologise on behalf of others to a person who decided to be unkind instead of giving their fellow pandemic-survivors the benefit of the doubt. We are all going through terrible times and yet there are people who will still strike first and only consider circumstances later. I despair whenever entitlement trumps kindness.
My friend Erika once send me the above to cheer me up. It always does. It did today.
One thing happened today just after my short swim in the late afternoon that allows me to say “Foff!” (my late friend Marina’s version of the above) to all the unpleasantness of today:
I saw a White-backed Mousebird (!!!) IN MY GARDEN for the first time ever! And, unusually, the beloved creature hung around the trees next to the pool for quite a while, so that I could enjoy a proper look. I am over the moon with joy whenever I think of the avian visitor. I love Mousebirds, they are this szczurek’s favourite birds. To see one in my very own garden was an unforgettable treat. A good omen, me thinks.
Be kind. Wear a mask. Support local.
“Physical distancing remains one of the key strategies to curb this pandemic.”
The beach-me is being taken out of the closet, dusted off and returned to her natural habitat (pictured above on holiday at the mouth of the Mngazi River a few years ago).
The President has spoken.
I will just wait a few days before I venture out into the beach-world. I imagine the crowds will be gone by next Monday. It was the same with the outdoor restrictions in early lockdown. And I will go wine shopping after my first beach excursion. But I might be at The Hoghouse Brewery for some beer – and pasteis de nata – earlier than that :)
Most importantly, the first vaccines are here. Yay for the heroes among us: the healthcare workers! As for the rest of us: let’s do everything possible to make these heroes’ lives easier. Let us behave in such a manner that they can finally rest a bit after the relentlessness of the past year.
I am also busy trying to find some rest from an entirely different kind of exhaustion. The trick is to gradually work through the responsibilities that have accumulated and NOT to take on any more for a while. And to be patient, and kind, and not to feel guilty. I know I am making people wait and perhaps even letting them down, but I don’t know any longer how to push myself even harder.
And I have to stop feeling responsible for other people’s failures. I just need to take care of my own.
Monday. I managed to change the light bulb in my study today! I have been without proper light in this room since the beginning of the year … and yes, I do know how pathetic that sounds. But the light feels like a sign of hope, that it will all be well in the end. How? Don’t know. It’s a mystery.
Be kind. Wear a mask. Support local.
“Physical distancing remains one of the key strategies to curb this pandemic.”
No photos today, so this … one of my favourite quotes.
I slept through the night. No gaps, no surfacing, no tossing and turning, nothing – just sleep. Instead of making me feel great, this fact really depressed me in the morning. Why? Because sleep felt like something special. The most natural, necessary, healing process that should occur every night is an anomaly in my life. And there is something deeply saddening about it.
Also, I am coping only on the surface of things. The pressures and responsibilities are outweighing the satisfaction and the rewards. Burnout is lurking just around the corner – it has been for a long time now, but I somehow usually manage to recharge my batteries, just enough to keep going, again and again, but for how much longer? For what? Why? Something, eventually, has to give. And I don’t want it to be my health. Not during a pandemic.
I think I am mourning the rest I had promised myself but could not deliver this month. Despite all the achievements, many things feel like failures and it’s hard to know where the truth lies.
I finished reading ten books in January. That feels good. But maybe it’s just the easiest form of escapism.
I am still looking forward to stuff: The first vaccines are arriving. Australian Open begins in a week. John Oliver returns. February does hold a few promises.
BUT: How is it possible that Captain Sir Tom Moore is in hospital with Covid-19? How?
Say no, Karina. Be selfish. Stop apologising.
Be kind. Wear a mask. Support local.
“Physical distancing remains one of the key strategies to curb this pandemic.”
Two brain cells. That should be enough to understand that meeting with friends anywhere, but especially on a crowded beach, during a pandemic, without masks, and hugging, kissing, shouting and talking in close proximity – i.e. illegally protesting against regulations that are mainly in place to prevent exactly such behaviour and to keep you out of an ICU bed, or a coffin – is not really wise.
I think that there is a responsible way to enjoy the beach and the ocean, even during a pandemic, but today’s protestors did nothing to prove it. If anything, they showed exactly why it might seem necessary to authorities to keep beaches off limits. There is no vaccine against careless irresponsibility.
Anyway … I wasn’t anywhere near a beach today, and it was a good day. I managed the balance between labour and leisure and can go to bed at peace with what has been achieved. If only the team I had been cheering for had won in the EPL, but hey, as I keep saying, one can’t have everything. And some things are not worth having, especially during a pandemic …
Be kind. Wear a mask. Support local.
“Physical distancing remains one of the key strategies to curb this pandemic.”
A morning in bed, with writing and reading and Salieri. Then the working day took over and only let go of me just before six p.m., when it was time to cook dinner and wait for my love to arrive. Today was the first time this week that I did not feel entirely helpless in the face of the workload in front of me. I made a list, got through some of it, and now I am entering the weekend with a sense of optimism.
My inbox is full of unanswered emails, though. I hope to be forgiven. There isn’t enough of me and there aren’t enough hours in the day to cope entirely.
Be kind. Wear a mask. Support local.
“Physical distancing remains one of the key strategies to curb this pandemic.”
Ziplining with Canopy Tours in Elgin for my birthday :)
28 January: I turned forty-four. I love the number and I hope for a healthy and wonderous new year in my life.
My love arrived first thing in the morning to wish me happy birthday and we had birthday coffee together before he went off to work and I to my beloved Elgin Valley that he introduced me to. A while back, we went ziplining with the Cape Canopy Tours in Elgin: “Situated in the Hottentots Holland Nature Reserve, we have partnered with CapeNature to take you into a previously inaccessible and pristine part of this amazing World Heritage Site. Only one hour from Cape Town, we offer a fully guided adventure activity for nature enthusiasts of ages 5 to 75!” After our tour back then, we were told that we were welcome to return to zipline for free on our respective birthdays. I was reminded of the kind offer a few days before my birthday now and thought: what better way to celebrate? Great fun and social distancing at its easiest. I booked and off I went!
The first time, I was quite scared, especially when I realised that I would be sailing through the air a hundred meters or more above the ground and on lines that were up to 330m long, but the second time, I knew what to expect and how much fun it would be, so I just soared. With me was a Cape Town couple celebrating their seventh wedding anniversary. They were lovely and it was great to experience this with them, witnessing how happy they were about being married to each other. Our guides were fantastic and we laughed a lot together. The weather was perfect: clear, stunning views. That area is beyond beautiful. I just loved it.
Birthday flowers :)
Travelling to Elgin, I was stopped at a road block. When I showed my driver’s license to the police officer, he glanced at it and immediately noticed, ‘It’s your birthday!’ I told him what I was planning and was told: ‘Have a blessed birthday, travel safely!’ And he let me go :) On my way back, I stopped at Liberty Books (of course) and found myself on one of the shelves, right next to a lovely literary friend.
Exclusive Books is turning seventy this year and they are giving all their Fanatics members a R70 voucher in our respective birthday months to celebrate. I decided to use the generous gift yesterday and went straight from Grabouw to EB Cavendish and bought myself the kind of book that I know no one would buy for me:
I LOVED the Twilight books, and one day I still want to write an essay about this literary love and the philosophical concepts behind it that I found so fascinating, but first I will indulge in some more reading. I also loved Meyer’s The Host, which is probably my favourite of her novels. There is a comfort in being able to lose oneself in a fantasy world for eight hundred pages …
I got home in the afternoon just in time for birthday Skype coffee with Mom and a swim. At the exact time of my birth, forty-four years later, I was surrounded by water, an Aquarian in her element.
And in the evening, my love invited me to dinner at one of our favourite restaurants where we were treated to a feast of note.
Oysters weren’t on the menu, but my love and the La Colombe chef made magic happen. It was the first time in many years that I did not have bubbly for my birthday, but the non-alcoholic Strawberry Bellini was divine and I did not miss anything.
We were home before curfew – the golden full moon looming over Cape Town a sight to behold. Throughout the day, friends and family kept sending wishes and even though I missed celebrating with them, I never felt lonely.
I still met with Mom and Krystian for a late birthday chat on Skype and we laughed into the night. I went to bed a happy Karina (44).
Be kind. Wear a mask. Support local.
“Physical distancing remains one of the key strategies to curb this pandemic.”
The day was saved by the calming presence of my love and his sister’s coolest gift delivery; my friend’s Debbie’s brief hello at my gate and her delivery of more gifts, also from my lovely neighbours; another friend’s literary visit; and a short lunchtime chat with Mom and Krystian; and dim sum.
For the rest, I read, tried to work and tried to resolve the Kafkaesque SARS saga. Let me just say that I was number 181 in the call centre queue to start with … In the end, I did, however, receive excellent service from the consultant. The question is, though, will his proposed solution to my conundrum be successful? Time will tell.
I burned some stuff today and cleaned my horrifically dirty kitchen window – both activities gave me enormous satisfaction.
My brain feels numb. My cheeks are still sore. I intend to bury my professional head in the sand tomorrow, or rather: I will allow it to soar above tree tops …
Be kind. Wear a mask. Support local.
“Physical distancing remains one of the key strategies to curb this pandemic.”
The manuscript mystery deepens. A woman who lives in my neighbourhood, a few streets away from my home, rang the bell this morning and delivered a card addressed to me that she found in her postbox – the card which accompanied the manuscript which disappeared from my property during the weekend … The thief decided to keep the manuscript, but discarded the card – into this woman’s postbox …
I was asked for a shout for a book that will be published later this year and I delivered the shout today, very excited about the publication. I can imagine that the book will cause a bit of a stir in certain parts of the literary community.
I had a really bad night, but work started anyway just before seven and by four-thirty my brain refused to function, so I gave up and swam and then lighted a fire and braaied steaks my love bought for our dinner. Now, I am already in bed, full of hope for some decent sleep.
But how does one sleep with another horror milestone passing: 100 000 Covid-19-related deaths in the UK. And South African excess deaths during the pandemic are at around 85 000 already, I read last night when I was awake. I know that one often cannot help being infected with the Coronavirus, and yet I wonder all the time where we would be if we were just a little bit more careful with one another. And sometimes, I feel a strange anger swelling inside and I don’t even know exactly where it is coming from. My cheeks are sore.
Be kind. Wear a mask. Support local.
“Physical distancing remains one of the key strategies to curb this pandemic.”
Monday. The fact that I am willing to get up tomorrow in the morning and do this all over again means I have survived. But coping might be only an illusion.
A Karavan Press book had its first ever Afrikaans review in Die Burger today: Let It Fall Where It Will by Lester Walbrugh.
My nose is falling gradually into the keyboard in front of me. Time to rest. Good night.
Be kind. Wear a mask. Support local.
“Physical distancing remains one of the key strategies to curb this pandemic.”
Karina Magdalena 