Operation Oysterhood: Day Forty-Two

OYSTERHOOD is reclusiveness or solitude, or an overwhelming desire to stay at home.


Waking up with lions, big and small. Big on screen, small on my bed. Monumental day: recycling collection, first time since BC (i.e. before Covid-19). I’d given up on the garbage bin, but was full of hope for my recycling bags, waiting patiently in the garage. Took them out this morning and went to check up on the Frog Prince – all alive and kicking despite new chlorine in the water. No kisses. I might get into a wetsuit for that. I am considering, the wetsuit and the kissing. I have had this plan for three years: to swim in my pool in winter. I have the wetsuit and the booties, but have never been brave enough before to actually try. I really don’t like cold, cold water. Yet: desperate times, desperate measures. And the possible reward of a kiss…

Perhaps worried about frog kisses, my love sent me a link to a beautiful love song this morning. Much more beautiful than a frog’s croak. I can still hear the gorgeous lyrics in my head, the soothing voice. Sorry, won’t share the title: I want it all for myself.

Coffee. Reading. First meeting at 10.30am. On the phone, of course. Final corrections round to the manuscript; you know those typesetting gremlins that just always get in no matter how careful you are? Reminds me of something… Hmmm.

Then, I heard glass breaking outside and knew the recycling collection was happening. And! Inspired by the good recycling people, the garbage people also arrived. I heard them in the distance and ran to put out the bin all over again. When they arrived, I was on the stoep, all happiness, having more coffee, but Glinka was NOT impressed.


Then: some more work and a lunch Skype date with my Mom and Krystian. We laughed, a lot. The funniest was when I tried to translate “selfish fuck” into Polish for my Mom. I don’t swear in Polish; I just can’t. So, in all those years, my Mom has not really heard me swear in Polish much. Afterwards, I felt like I had to not only wash my hands but also my mouth with soap and warm water for twenty seconds. I don’t sing anything, btw. I just follow the instruction how surgeons do it before an operation.


More work, Glinka catssisting.

The Bundesliga news. Now, I am not big on soccer. There was a time when, boyfriends ago, I was in love, and I followed European soccer religiously, but after that boyfriend, there was another, and another, and … well, I watch rugby and tennis nowadays. And, like any sports fan, I am starved for live sports. Bundesliga it is then. I have started following their Twitter account today and I am sooooo ready. I even have a team: closest to my Austrian home, the ex-ex-ex-ex-ex-ex-something-boyfriend’s team, and they have Robert Lewandowski (a Pole). Not to mention that they happen to be top of the log right now. I – hopefully – cannot lose. 16 May – I will be there, popcorn, beer (I still have one can – I KNEW I was saving it for s special occasion) and all.

And then, did you hear James phoning in to the Afternoon Drive on CapeTalk today? I listened to the young man and thought: I want to marry YOU! I never want to get married again, but James, if the thing with the frog doesn’t work out, I will be physical distancing, taking responsibility, not spreading the virus, being intelligent – all the way to wherever you are and asking for your hand, or elbow, or foot, or whatever is allowed at level four…!

Sorry, My Love, please send another love song.

I think it is time for some TV and the rest of the ironing pile.

Good night.

Be kind to yourself. Be kind to others. Stay at home.


“Physical distancing remains one of the key strategies to curb this pandemic.”


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